Always

Here’s another excerpt from my narrative,

I allowed myself to dream a perishable dream. I was… foolish and I loved her, I love her… I wanted her to be next to me forever. Now I know, I truly always knew she’d be gone, away from me but didn’t want to accept it.

Then came this dearth, dragging me into an emptiness I didn’t expect to encounter. I refused to believe though it was already there, chasing me like a ghost… hollow.

It doesn’t matter now… I’ve seen her this week. I see her every other week ever since. Her words keep reckoning in me…

“It’s not too late, it’s not too late, M…” she insisted. “I loved you so much… you didn’t care a …. All these years I waited, I waited ‘til I didn’t know of myself”, I told her and kept looking at her, broken down.

Those words keep reviving me these last couple of days but something in me urges me to believe it is too late to go back to what we had… though I will forever carry it with me.

Tonight the lights go out a little later… I wait for her… Somehow I feel I did grow to be… me.

Copyright © 2011 JJ Del Mar

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